GOING BACK ON CHOICES
by Atheniandream
Summary: Sam and Jack meet after the break up of Sg-1, is all well and good?


Title: Going back on choices  
Author: atheniandream/Jawbreakerchick/Paisleychick, my alter egos :)  
Email: atheniandream@aol.com  
Content Warnings: Mild sexual reference, a few swear words.  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Spoilers: 2010, 2001  
Season: Future story  
Rating: PG-13, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE, NOTHING TOO BAD :)  
Summary: Sam and Jack meet after the break up of Sg-1, is all well and good?  
Author's notes: this goes to Seldear, Suzvoy, and Sally Reeve, who's fanfiction this fic is probably based on....thankyou for being my muse.......WARNING, FICS DON'T ALWAYS TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WAN'T THEM TO, THIS MAY DAMAGE YOUR SHIP SANITY!!!! :)  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.   
  
GOING BACK ON CHOICES  
  
"Honey come on, they'll love you..." Joe Faxon, enthused as he glanced over the hustling crowd that filled the restaurant, trying to keep hold of his fiancé's hand, guiding her over to his party of friends by the bar. Amidst them people were laughing, talking, drinking and dining, the kind of hustle and bustle that Samantha Carter hadn't really cared for these days. In her old age, she thought, it was customary to be allowed to be grumpy when having to meet a new group of people, accompanied by the added discomfort of being made to wear a dress. It was relatively tight, midnight blue colored cocktail dress, which cut just above the knee, decent but for her it was a major over statement; but as usual Joe had bargained with her that in turn for wearing the dress tonight, he would take her out for a romantic dinner anywhere she wanted with her own chosen apparel. She hadn't cared for dresses when she actually cared about her appearance, but even now in her current state of mind, nevertheless she chose to make an effort just tonight, for his sake and his sake alone.  
  
As the glided over to the group, her heart started pounding, "I don't think I can do this Joe......you know! I think I just left my purse in the car-" Just as she was about to make a hasty retreat, Joe caught her arm and motioned her nearer to the group's location. "Sam, they're going to take one look at you and fall in love with you, just like I did." At the comment she blushed, there had seldom been people in her life who made her blush, let alone give her such a plain and yet meaningful compliment but, then again she didn't really know him as the one to give her the simple compliments underlying other meanings. She'd shed herself of that type of man long ago.  
  
"Joe!" Joe was hugged by many anonymous people who all took there turns to welcome him, until he finally turned his attention to Sam who had resided to looking at the floor, wondering how the hell Joe had gotten her out of the house in this dress, "Everyone this is my Fiancé Samantha Carter, Sam honey these are my friends." Sam's head darted from the piercing gaze she had focused on the floor, and turned to the unknown faces.   
"Uh, oh, Hi." "Sam, this Perry, his wife Charlotte, Mike, his girlfriend Laura, Ray, his wife Marie, and finally George and his 'date' Julianne." Sam scanned the line saying hello to each one, until Julianne had finished mock glaring at Joe for his comment and explained it to Sam, "George and I have been quote on quote 'dating' for 2 years now, Joe just likes to poke holes in our relationship!!!" Sam smiled at this, so maybe it's not as bad as I thought....  
Perry, the obvious leader of the group of people spoke up first about the mysterious Sam.  
"So, Samantha, or is it just Sam? We don't know allot about you, Joe's an old dark horse about his love life, what do you do for a living?"  
Evidently, she wasn't about to tell them about the Stargate Project and the current politics furthering the new Aschen alliance, as it was two weeks away from going public.  
"Oh, it's Sam, and I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force, and a Theoretical Astrophysicist."  
The people around her sat, stunned, until Perry, continued the conversation.  
"Wow, do those two jobs go together?"  
"Yeah, allot of people in the Air force have a second knowledge or expertise, my friend Janet, she's the CMO for the Cheyenne Mountain Military Complex as well as a Major in the Air force."  
"CMO?"  
"Chief Medical Officer."  
"What would they need a Medical Doctor in Cheyenne Mountain for? I thought the Complex specialized in Deep Radar Telemetry?" Another of Joe's Friends interjected in to the conversation.  
"Oh, It's ah classified, but basically it's standard issue to have a medical facility nearby any scientific centers, ya know we scientists, serious casualties!!" Everyone laughed at her droll comment.  
"Well, glad to have you here Sam, No doubt you have a ton of interesting stories to tell us, but I suggest a round at the bar to get us going? Guys?"   
"Yeah, sounds good, so sweetie what do you want to drink?" Joe looked at her as the group collectively sat at the large round table in the corner of the Restaurant.   
"Uh, no don't' worry I'll get it, what do you want?"   
"Oh, okay, I'll have a red wine." He smiled, causing her to smile back, as she made her way to the bar.  
"She's Beautiful, Joe." Charlotte congratulated him, "You gotta keep on to this one," "I will, Charlotte, no sane man would let her go." He assured as the remaining members of the group continued casual conversation.  
  
This was such a bad idea, Jack mumbled to himself, the one night he had come to D.C since his retirement/short of being fired from his position as a member of the Pentagon, and where had he ended up? At the restaurant he had spent the last few months of his career. Even though he had been dragged here by friends, it still left a sore patch at the back of his throat at the reminder of the last few months, the Aschen, the alliance, the arguments, the break-up, and now, the silence after the storm. A chain of events which he'd tried to forget had happened. So, instead of letting his conscience rear it's ugly head, he tied to back down and at least enjoy the good points which still lingered in his life, he was alive, the goa'ould were dead, he hadn't had to have surgery on his 'bad knee' quite yet, and there was still a few years or so of kick left in this old Colonel.  
"Jack? Buddy?" His attention was brought back to the harsh reality around him.   
"What?" His trademark cluelessness still present as one of the guys repeated the question that the Colonel had conveniently missed.   
"What are you drinking?"   
"I'll take a beer."  
"Okay, can I have four beers.......and I'll take a whiskey on the rocks. Jack, You okay?"  
Jack Looked up, still verging on reality, his mind still trying to retaliate. "Uh yeah, I'm fine. Just fine."  
"Geeze man, you need a girlfriend," Jack ignored the look of pity that was thrown towards him. "Yea sure I do."  
At that, a woman walked up to the bar, oblivious to the men there. She was undeniably a looker, Blonde, with startlingly big crystal blue eyes, and a wide smile, which she openly gave to the Bartender as she ordered her drinks. Jack was oblivious to the woman's close proximity, due to the fact that his back as facing her as he casually leant against the bar. His friend next however had noticed the woman and made the obvious point of mentioning it.   
"What about her, now that is what I call a woman." Jack rolled his eyes at his friend's partly alcohol and testosterone induced comment, refusing to look over his shoulder, but replied in an unamuzed and dry tone. "Jeff, you do realise that you have a real problem with women?"  
"Proud of it Colonel. Will you just look at her?"   
At this Jack lost patience, and turn to eye the mystery woman that had made an impression on his friend, at the same point, that woman had began to pick up her drinks from the bar. At that moment his mind, body and soul froze; stiff, stark and unimaginably ice cold; he'd known that kind of pain, as his mouth drop to the floor.  
"Carter."  
  
Sam had just ordered her drinks from the bar, it 's going well she decided, for the first time in a few to many months, Sam Carter-soon to be Faxon, felt happy and comfortable. She picked up her drinks and turned to see a face staring at her.  
"Sir." As the word rolled off of her tongue, the contents of the drinks fell out of glasses, onto the opposing offender.  
For a brief moment six and a half years of hurt, pain, regret, shouting, crying, loving, refusing, and rejecting resurfaced itself between one shared look; how many minutes passed before one voice spoke up was unknown, the time had been forgotten long ago.   
"I guess you two know eachother?" Jeff was the first to speak up, breaking the silence. Jack turned immediately to his friend, unable to look at her for a second longer, his tone still shocked from the alcohol drenching his crew sweater.  
"Jeff this Major Samantha Carter, um Carter this is....Jeff Michoe."   
Sam smiled for a brief second, short and sweet, before realising that she was standing in front of 'Colonel Jack O'Neill' with a very revealing dress, and quickly shook the man's hand in the most lady like way which she could muster. Her smile ceased, however, as she saw the water marks on the front of his sweater from her drinks.  
"I'm, Sorry sir, I really didn't' meant to-"  
"Carter, it's Jack, and don't worry, it's fine." He spoke quietly, still shell shocked by their meeting. She could feel the ice in his voice, and his closed off posture, one she'd known only too well.  
"Look I'm sorry, Can I get you a drink? Anything?" Jack noticed her discomfort at their meeting, so he reduced the harshness of her voice. "No, it's fine, really." Well, it can't get any worse than this he thought to himself, all he needed for his evening to really hit rock bottom, was for her to be with-"Sam, sweet-y." Joe's tone lowered as he noticed why Sam had been delayed with their drinks.   
"Colonel O'Neill."  
"Joe." Jack's tone was just a weary as Joe's, both Jeff and Sam were aware of the hostility between them.   
"Uh, Joe, I think we're gonna have to order two more drinks," motioning to Jack's wet clothes, biting her lip in the process.  
"Well, actually Sam, I need to you over there for a second."  
"Sure." As Sam turned to the Colonel, with a look of pain on her face. "Colonel, I really am sorry," for everything....  
"Sure. See you around." Mimicking her, he turned quickly back to Jeff, and Sam feeling his brush off, walked over to where Joe was standing.  
"So that was Samantha Carter. Now it all makes sense." Jeff quipped, not really understanding the full effect of his words.  
"Yea, that was Carter." Jack swallowed the last of his beer, feeling the bitter strain trickle down his throat, he mumbled to his friend briefly "If you'll excuse me, bathroom call."  
  
"What is it?" Sam looked at Joe, curious as to the pensive expression which he wore, but also shocked by the previous encounter.  
"Umm, I'm sorry Sam this was unexpected, noone plans these things-"  
Sam became impatient at his vagueness. "WHAT IS IT?"  
"The President just called a meeting, He wants me there for it ASAP, but he didn't let much up over the phone."   
At the comment, Sam thought she could frown anymore. "Oh, You've got to be kidding! Did you say yes?"  
"Sam, honey I had to, you can't say know to the President, Look I'm sorry."  
Feeling a tad unreasonable, the guys only human, and when duty calls you follow orders, right? "I'm sorry, look..go."  
"Really? I'm sorry to leave like this-"  
"Go, you''ll miss the meeting otherwise. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Shall, I come by yours after I'm done?" He asked her, his voice laced with promise and desire.  
"No, Go home, I'm going out with Janet and Cassy early anyway." She may have been easy going about him leaving her in a Restaurant with his friends and a Colonel, But she wasn't over forgiving, kissing him and wishing him well was all that she could do.  
"Have a safe journey."   
"I love you, Sam, you know that?" Briefly kissing her, as he put on his coat.  
"Yea, I do." She smiled at that, his open-hearted affection was the quality that attracted her to him. She needed a man like that, she wanted a man like that.  
  
Jack O'Neill faced the men's room mirror. His mind scarred, his heart had been scratched at and his body even more so.....  
Damn Aschen.............out of all the people to blame I thought of the Aschen, of how they changed the future, altered the past, and torn him up in the process.   
She still looked beautiful, even more so in that dress; acsentuating the curves of her body as well as her normally hidden femininities, she was would always be beautiful, for the photos imprinted on your mind never age....  
He missed the old days, just him, Carter, Daniel and Teal'c, infamous SG-1, the freedom fighters, hated by the goa'ould, the defenders of earth, noone could touch them. They were the best.  
But like all good alliances they must come to an end, the world revolves, tilts, slides, and shakes, and right in the middle of it is Jack O'Neill, in the biggest shit storm of all time....... He had liked it before, feelings weren't pent up, made to resurface, occurances were skirted, but still acknowledged, everything was as it should be, not the best, but right in the worlds.   
But now.....it's all just been fuc-  
  
Sam made her way, over to the remaining group of people, Joe friends, as nice as they were, they were Joe's friends. not hers, but she was soon to be his wife, so she might as well get to know them a little better.  
To her sudden dismay, they got up, as she reached the table.   
"Hey Sam, it was nice to meet you, but we've all got work early in the morning." As they all nodded at Perry's comment, Sam all of a sudden felt emotionally deflated.  
"Sure, It was nice to meet you all too." As the group said thier goodbye's and made thier way out of the resturant, Sam couldn't help but feel anything but alone as she sat down and ordered a drink form the bar. Well, her Fiance had left her, his friends had left her, and she'd seen the Colonel. Wow, she was really having a bad day, but hey, it was only 8:30!!!!  
  
Jack had returned from the Men's room, finding Jeff and the others nowhere, he grumbled and sat at the end of the bar, raising his left hadn't for the bar tender, even thought it was still busy, the main bar area was less so, most people looking for chairs.  
Taking another swig of his Beer he continued in the previous 'drowning of the sorrows tribute', until a figure pulled up a bar stool near him.  
"I really am sorry about the spill."  
He looked to his left, unamused to find Sam looking at him, and alone at that.  
"Where's Joe?"  
"Umm, Hi to you too." She quipped, her comment falling flat, as she saw that his obvioulsy pensive expression was beginning to register on his face.  
Yet more silence from him, as she continued to spark his attention. "He uh, he left, duty calls."  
For the first time he looked up at her for a brief moment, unable to hold her gaze a second longer. "I'm sorry to hear that, Carter."  
"Your retired Jack, my name's Sam." He'd never witnessed her wanting him to call her Sam, it was always Carter."  
"Sure."  
"So, how have you been?"  
"Oh, you know." He shrugged, swallowing another final gulp of beer  
"No, That's why I'm asking." she retorted quietly at his comment.  
"Carter I'm Fine, okay!" He shouted a little louder than it sound in his head, causing her to increase her tone to match his.  
"Hey, I was just askin'!"  
"And that's supposed to make me feel better!" The hurt was evident, obvious and open, like a wound had been ripped open.   
"I 'm sorry I-" He cut her off, finally releasing words and opinions he'd rather keep to himself.  
"You know, you just turn up, I was fine in my little world, everything was fine. but You had to upset it-"  
"I didn't, I was just-"  
"I'm fed up of feeling like this.......!" The final part of the bandaid had been ripped off, The wound was exposed.  
"What?" She whispered sure of his answer, but her heart couldn't speak it.  
"Hurt."  
The final word had brought silence between them. Hurt. The cause, the end result, the remaining feeling between the two of them. The word echoed, down, in somewhere hollow she thought she'd filled.....  
"I'm sorry." she words released from her mouth, became resonant in his head, muddled between thoughts, reality, illusion, justice, devotion, solitude, and forgiveness.  
"I'm drunk."  
"We should get you home."  
A loud ringing voiced itself inside his head. "I don't live here Carter."  
"Well, where are you staying?"   
"At a motel, I think?"  
"Ya think?" she suddenly remembered how much like him she had begun, and smiling at the resemblance, she rose from her stool leaveing her drink.  
"Come I'll give you a ride, Joe left my car here."  
His stuborness was still present, retaining itself through his aging demure. Through all of it she saw the man she thought shared mutual feeling, respect and support.  
"I'll be fine,"  
"Will you just not be stubborn for one minute and let me drive you home?"  
Feeling her anger towards him rise, he took the easy way out. "Haven't you drunk too much?"  
"No, techinically, I'm tipsy, but I'm not near the average, and I can drive."  
"Fine.", was his responce, luckily for her, it was one of the more respectful words The Colonel had used in his time when ending a conversation.  
  
The drive to the motel was silent. Niether of them dared to say a word, too worried of eachother's responce.  
They arrived at ther motel, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, Sam finally was the one to talk.  
"Colonel we're here." He opted for silence and attempted to get out of the car.  
"Are you going to be okay?"  
"I'm 52 years old Carter, I think I can get to a door," Those words went back on him as he tripped near to the door landing on his face. Sam quickly got out of her car. "Colonel?" Nothing. "Colonel?" She jumped as he got up, "That really hurt."  
She quietly chuckled at his comment as she neared to him, making sure he could make it to the door.  
"Carter, go home,"  
"No, I don't trust that you can make throught the door."  
He grumbled something unidentifiable, which she ignored, stopping to turn on a light as they entered the motel room, then remebering that Jack was drunk. He turn around sharply towards her, and within an instance she already had her hands around his shoudlers to steady him. Silence remained still as he tried to regain his balance, without thinking he automatically placed his hands around both her hips, pushing her closer to him. She wasn't really sure whether it was the alcahol or something else making her act this way, but before she had time to react he had kissed her, and before he had time to stop himself she had reciprocated. Soon nerved kisses, became viciously induced with passion, a mix they had never experienced with such emotional velocity. He pulled her closer, more intimatley to him, as her tongue demanded a deeper entrance, and suddenly they were unaware of the bed that they were headed towards, clothes suddenly being discarded, the skin perviously covered, was either kissed, bitten or touched, in one manner or another the two of them had lost any thoughts or inhibitions the moment they entered the motel room, and any left were soon disgaurded in a haze of passion, desire, desperate screams, and mind shattering euphoria.  
  
Jack woke with a start in the early hours of the morning. Had it all been a dream? Nothing remained of her, no clothes, her car wasn't parked outside; it was as if she'd never been there and he'd dreamt it up. But that scenario had been played oh so many time before.  
Pulling off the covers, he spyed the room for some slight indication, that he wasnt' imagining things; looking at his neck in the nearby mirror, he laid his fears to rest. She'd left her mark on him, the red, bruised strech of flesh on his neck told him so. For a second, a piece of paper on the edge of the bed held his attention, as he walked over to it, he knew in his mind what it was going to tell him.  
  
Jack,   
I had to go. Sometimes the path you want to take isn't the path you can;   
so you follow the one you started..........   
I love you, but I made a choice I can't go back on,   
try to understand,   
You have my heart, Sam  
~X~  
  
Sometimes, even when you know you should be with a person, when you know that they complete you, your own happiness can't be measured to against the pain you can cause another, so you do what's best, and not nessesarily what you want....  
  
A SEQUEL WILL DEPEND ON THE FEEDBACK I GET, SO WRITE ME!!!! :) 


End file.
